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  • Jerilynn Jacobson

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    How Infidelity Affects Mental Health

    February 24, 2021

    No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming. When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. Many […]

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    How Infidelity Affects Mental Health

    February 24, 2021

    No one ever wants to be on the receiving end of romantic betrayal. The emotional pain of discovering that someone you love and trust has been cheating and lying to you can be overwhelming.

    When you are the victim of massive deception and betrayal, it can leave you feeling sadness, confusion, resentment, and anger. Many victims also feel an increase in their anxiety and a decrease in their self-esteem. But infidelity doesn’t just affect our emotional health, it also affects our mental health.

    In fact, many victims of infidelity experience the same symptoms that are linked to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), becoming totally disoriented and confused as to what has happened to them.

    Some of the classic symptoms of PTSD often experienced by those whose partners have cheated on them are:

    • Looping intrusive thoughts
    • Inability to regulate emotions
    • Out of body experiences
    • Oscillating between feeling numb and rageful
    • Hyper alert (looking for new potential threats)
    • Feeling helpless and vulnerable
    • Confusion and disorientation
    • Problems with memory and cognition
    • Lack of trust

    If you have been the victim of infidelity, then know that you, like a soldier returning from war, have been psychologically injured and you require tender care to set you on the path back to you.

    Healing from Infidelity

    As devastating as it can be to learn that your significant other has betrayed you in such an intimate way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can pick up the pieces of your life and find joy and comfort once again.

    Here are some ways you can begin to heal after infidelity:

    Be Gentle on Yourself

    Don’t fall into the “I should have known…” trap. This is not your fault. Now is the time to be on your own side.

    Breathe Deeply

    Your emotions will be overwhelming for a little while. You will feel lost, anxious and panicky. When these feelings start to rise, STOP, take a slow deep breath and let it out. Take another one and another one. It is amazing how deep breathing can completely calm us almost instantly. Your breath will become your new best friend.

    Seek Counseling

    Remember, you’re not just healing from infidelity, you are healing from the PTSD that the infidelity caused. You will need some professional guidance to help you cope with the symptoms you are currently experiencing.

    If you would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey to becoming whole and happy once again.

    Filed Under: Women's Issues

    Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder

    November 10, 2020

    Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major depressive disorder that occurs during the same season each year. Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD typically comes on in the fall and winter, when the light is diminished. SAD is believed to affect nearly 10 million Americans and is four times more common in women […]

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    Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder

    November 10, 2020

    Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a major depressive disorder that occurs during the same season each year. Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD typically comes on in the fall and winter, when the light is diminished.

    SAD is believed to affect nearly 10 million Americans and is four times more common in women than men. Many people experience symptoms that are severe enough to affect their quality of life.

    Though not everyone will experience the same symptoms, here are some of the most common:

    • Feelings of sadness and hopelessness
    • A change in appetite and developing a craving for sweet or starchy foods
    • Weight gain
    • A drop in energy level
    • Decreased physical activity
    • Fatigue
    • Difficulty concentrating
    • Irritability
    • Avoidance of social situations
    • Thoughts of suicide

    Treatments

    If you suffer from SAD, here are some ways you can alleviate your symptoms:

    Light Boxes

    By far the greatest relief, according to research, comes from the use of lightboxes. Lightboxes emit high-intensity light between 2,500 to 10,000 lux. Compare this to a normal light fixture that emits only 250 to 500 lux.

    Lightboxes closely mimic the sun’s natural rays, helping our brains produce the right amount of neurotransmitters that are responsible for mood.

    Depending on the severity of your symptoms, you may only need to use the lightbox for 30 minutes once a day. For more severe symptoms, people have found relief by using the box for long periods of time and can often feel true relief in as little as two weeks.

    Some insurance providers will cover the cost of lightboxes, but not all do, so be sure to speak with your provider.

    Exercise

    While it may feel counterintuitive, if not downright impossible, to get up and get moving when you’re feeling depressed, exercise is one of the best ways to improve your mood. Exercise not only reduces stress and tension, but it releases those feel-good endorphins. Studies have also found that one hour of aerobic exercise outdoors (even if the sky is overcast) has the same positive effect on mood as 2.5 hours of using a lightbox.

    Eat Well

    It’s common to turn to junk food when you’re feeling the winter blues. High-sugar foods tend to give us a temporary boost in energy levels and mood. But then we come crashing down and feel even worse. A better choice is to eat a balanced and nutritious diet, opting for complex carbohydrates like sweet potatoes and whole grains.

    Speak with a Therapist

    If your symptoms are very severe, and if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself, then it is important to speak with a therapist who can help you navigate your depression and offer coping tools.

    If you or a loved one are currently suffering from SAD and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Depression, Women's Issues

    10 Signs You Might Be a “Highly Sensitive Person”

    August 31, 2020

    Are you a highly sensitive person (HSP)? If so, you’re not alone. It is estimated that roughly 15 to 20 percent of the population is highly sensitive. In fact, scientists now believe there is a gene behind this trait. But what does it mean to be highly sensitive? The HSP is generally defined as someone […]

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    10 Signs You Might Be a “Highly Sensitive Person”

    August 31, 2020

    Are you a highly sensitive person (HSP)? If so, you’re not alone. It is estimated that roughly 15 to 20 percent of the population is highly sensitive. In fact, scientists now believe there is a gene behind this trait.

    But what does it mean to be highly sensitive? The HSP is generally defined as someone with “acute physical, mental, and emotional responses to external (social, environmental) or internal (intra-personal) stimuli.”

    The bad news is, being highly sensitive can make many “normal” life situations feel awkward and downright uncomfortable. But fear not, there are some benefits to being highly sensitive, and I’ll share those a little later in this post.

    Signs You May Be a Highly Sensitive Person

    If you are curious whether you may be part of the population that is highly sensitive, here are 10 signs to look for:

    1. You are quick to feel negative emotions such as sadness and anxiety.
    2. You may feel physical symptoms in relation to these emotions, such as headaches and muscle tension.
    3. You become overwhelmed with physical stimuli such as sound, light and smells.
    4. You have never felt comfortable around crowds. The energy of the crowd easily overwhelms you.
    5. You become very emotional over the injustices of the world. (you cry or become angry at the thought of children or animals being harmed, as an example)
    6. You often worry what others think of you.
    7. You take things personally.
    8. You have a hard time letting things go and receiving critical feedback.
    9. You avoid most social situations and prefer to stay home alone.
    10. You startle easily to loud noises.

    Benefits of Being a Highly Sensitive Person

    As I mentioned earlier, while being a HSP can cause you to feel awkward or overwhelmed at times, there are some definite perks to being highly sensitive. For starters, you are someone who can enjoy subtle sensory detail that a majority of the population misses. You get pleasure from noticing the end of day light play. You’ll notice subtle shades of color and texture and feel immense pleasure at the complexities of Indian cuisine.

    You’re also someone others like being around because you are aware of others’ feelings, needs and emotions. Because of this natural empathy, HSPs make great teachers, managers and leaders.

    HSPs are also incredibly creative. Many artists, musicians and famous actors are highly sensitive people who have gifted the world with their talent and insight into what it means to be human.

    As you can see, if you can manage the negative aspects of being a highly sensitive person, you can reap some pretty great rewards.

    If you or someone you love suspects they are a HSP and would like to explore treatment options to manage those negative aspects, please get in touch with me. I’d love to discuss how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Depression, Women's Issues

    3 Steps to Self-Compassion

    March 26, 2020

    “God, you can be so stupid sometimes.” “Why would he be attracted to YOU?” “You’re just going to screw this up.” These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds of things all the […]

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    3 Steps to Self-Compassion

    March 26, 2020

    “God, you can be so stupid sometimes.”

    “Why would he be attracted to YOU?”

    “You’re just going to screw this up.”

    These are things you would probably never say to another human being unless you’re a real jerk. But how many of us have that inner critic that says these kinds of things all the time.

    Most of us treat ourselves far more harshly than we would anyone else. And that’s a shame. In my experience, so much of the depression and anxiety my clients feel stems from a dysfunctional relationship they have with themselves.

    But every day is a chance for you to develop a loving relationship with yourself. And the best way to do that is to practice self-compassion.

    If that concept seems foreign to you or you are even uncomfortable with the idea of showing yourself compassion, then please keep reading to learn some simple but profound ways you can begin to practice self-compassion as a way to connect lovingly with yourself.

    1. Become More Mindful of Your Feelings

    Self-compassion is the pathway to emotional healing. But to begin, you must become more aware of your own emotions, especially as they relate to yourself.

    Try to be more aware of when you are emotionally struggling with something. Perhaps you are feeling confused, desperate, or inadequate. Ordinarily, in these moments your inner critic may strike. But now, try and offer yourself kindness instead.

    You may say something to yourself life, “I know you’re disappointed. And I also know you did your best. And I am so proud of you.”

    If you are at a loss for the right words in these moments, simply talk to yourself as you would a friend, or better yet, a small child.

    2. Monitor Yourself

    Until you become used to being compassionate toward yourself, you’ll want to monitor the language you use. You are most likely so used to criticizing yourself that it will be far too easy for the wrong choice of words to come out. That’s okay. In these moments you certainly don’t want to scold yourself. Just be aware and make a compassionate correction.

    3. Get Physical

    There’s a phrase that says, “get out of your head and drop into your body.” This is a perfect way to begin the ritual of self-compassion.

    Begin to use kind physical gestures with yourself. This could be gently stroking your cheeks and temples when you’re stressed, holding your hand over your heart when you’re sad, or holding your own hand when you feel lonely. Any physical gesture, so long as it’s loving, will help you show yourself true love and kindness in those moments.

    For some people who have very low self-esteem, showing themselves compassion may prove to be incredibly difficult. In these cases, it’s a good idea to speak with a therapist who can help them uncover where the feelings stem from and how they can change their thoughts and behavior.

    If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to see how I may be able to help.

    Filed Under: Self-Esteem, Women's Issues

    How to Set Healthy Boundaries

    March 9, 2020

    Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up […]

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    How to Set Healthy Boundaries

    March 9, 2020

    Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s. These people most likely grew up in households that were unsafe and unstable, and where there was a constant invasion of personal boundaries.

    If you can relate, chances are you have a hard time creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. Here are some ways you can begin to do so:

    Identify Your Limits

    You can’t set boundaries unless you discover where it is you personally stand. You’ll need to take a bit of time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? Only until you have made these discoveries can you move on to the next steps.

    Don’t Be Shy

    People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But people who have a different cultural background or personality may not easily understand your boundaries. With these people, it’s important to be very clear and direct.

    Pay Attention to Your Feelings

    People who have a hard time setting boundaries don’t often allow themselves to acknowledge their own feelings because they’re usually too busy worrying about everyone else’s.

    You’ll need to start recognizing how people make you feel in order to know whether your new boundaries are being crossed or not. When you’re with someone, make mental notes, or even jot down in a journal how that interaction made you feel.

    If, after spending time with someone, you feel anger or resentment, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your boundaries are. If they continue to disrespect you and them, you will want to cut yourself away from further interactions.

    Make Self-Care a Priority

    Put yourself and your needs first. This may feel strange and even somehow wrong if you’ve spent your entire life taking care of others. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.

    Speak with Someone

    If you’ve spent an entire life with a sense of low self-worth, you may find setting boundaries quite difficult. In this case, it’s important to speak with a therapist that can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change your thought patterns and behavior.

    If you’d like to explore therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you on your journey toward self-care.

    Filed Under: Women's Issues

    4545 Clawson Tank Dr Ste. D Clarkston, MI 48346 (810) 626-5191 info@gieskencounseling.com

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