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As we head into summer, many people are already getting their backyards and patios ready for big family BBQs and holiday get-togethers. Summer is definitely a time for relaxing and having some fun with the people you love most. But the summer holiday get-togethers can be extremely hard to handle when you are grieving the […]
As we head into summer, many people are already getting their backyards and patios ready for big family BBQs and holiday get-togethers. Summer is definitely a time for relaxing and having some fun with the people you love most.
But the summer holiday get-togethers can be extremely hard to handle when you are grieving the recent death of a loved one. Many people aren’t sure how to handle the dichotomy of wanting to be around those they love, and yet feeling the sadness for their loss.
If you are wondering how to deal with your grief during the upcoming summer holidays, here are some tips I hope will help:
Feel Your Pain
Recognize that grieving is an important part of healing. Stuffing your feelings down will only prolong your grief. If your instinct is to avoid all get-togethers in an effort to not feel your pain, you may want to rethink your decision.
Choose Wisely
While you shouldn’t completely avoid being social with your loved ones, you don’t have to attend every summertime get-together. Choose the events that you think you can handle and say “no” to the ones that may bring you to a very dark place. Be firm with loved ones who may try and convince you to attend, thinking it will be good for you. Ultimately, you are the only one who knows how you feel and what you can handle.
Have an Escape Plan
Be sure to drive yourself to the event if you can so you can leave when you want or need. If you must get a ride, try to get one with someone who will take you home when you need to go. You may also want to download the Uber or Lyft app as another option.
Honor Your Loved One
Find new ways to keep the memory of your loved one alive during the summer holidays. You could make their favorite dish or baked item to bring to the BBQ. You could also light and release sky lanterns. Creating unique ways to memorialize your loved one will help you keep their memory with you during this time.
It may also help to speak with someone over the summer months. A therapist can offer tools to cope as well as guide you along your grieving path to wellness. If you’re interested in treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
November 21st is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, an event that brings together survivors of suicide to share their experiences and offer hope and encouragement to others. Loss is never easy, but losing a loved one to suicide is particularly painful. Sadly, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that roughly 800,000 people die from […]
November 21st is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, an event that brings together survivors of suicide to share their experiences and offer hope and encouragement to others.
Loss is never easy, but losing a loved one to suicide is particularly painful. Sadly, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that roughly 800,000 people die from suicide each year around the globe. That’s one person every 40 seconds.
Losing a loved one to suicide is a tragic event and it often triggers an array of complex and confusing emotions. The following coping strategies can help navigate the grieving process:
To begin healing you must accept every single emotion you feel. You may have expected sadness and despair, but many people have a hard time feeling their shame, anger, and guilt. All feelings are 100% okay and normal.
When it comes to loss and grieving a death by suicide, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. There is no single right way to cope and heal. Focus solely on your feelings, your wants, and your needs. Forget the “shoulds.”
While it may feel somehow counterintuitive to you, it’s incredibly important to take care of yourself. Be sure to eat right and get enough rest. Healthy meals and proper sleep can actually help stabilize our mood so we can do the important emotional work of healing.
Unfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding suicide, and often survivors grieve in silence. Speaking to someone can really help.
There may be a support group in your local area. Speaking with those who know exactly what you are going through can be very healing. You may also want some one-on-one time to speak to a professional therapist who can guide your emotional journey and offer coping and healing strategies. I would be happy to speak with you about your healing journey, so please feel free to get in touch with me.
And if you’d like to take part in International Survivors of Suicide Day this year, you can find a current list of registrations here.
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Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family. Here […]
Not many of us remember our teenage years as walks in the park. That’s because this time in our life is punctuated by uncertainties, social pressure, and a surge of hormones. Because of this perfect storm, many teens act out, which can cause a lot of chaos and disruption in the home and family.
Here are 3 reasons why teens can benefit from therapy:
Most teens have a certain level of self-worth issues growing through this awkward phase. But there are those teens that really suffer from low self-esteem. Therapy can help adolescence build their self-esteem.
Dealing with school, friendships, work, choosing a college… are all major stressors in a young person’s life. And many teens find it hard to speak with their parents. Therapy offers teens a way to communicate and let go of some steam and pressure that is building up.
There should be a rule that no young person should suffer the loss of a close friend or family member. Sadly, many teens do experience loss and the grief that accompanies it. This can be incredibly difficult for the teen and their parents to navigate. A therapist has been trained to know exactly how to guide a young person through the stages of grief.
It’s perfectly normal for teens to feel worried and anxious at times. But some teens experience such severe anxiety, it negatively impacts their life, schoolwork and relationships. Therapy can help teens learn to manage their symptoms.
Unfortunately, many teens learn to cope with the intensity of life by using drugs and alcohol. A therapist can assess a teen’s substance use and determine the best course of action.
These are just some of the benefits teens can gain from working with a therapist. If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.
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The loss of a loved one is one of the most painful tragedies that humans suffer. The impact of this loss is usually crushing, and in the aftermath of loss, we often feel like we have no control over anything. Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s perfectly normal to detach yourself from your […]
The loss of a loved one is one of the most painful tragedies that humans suffer. The impact of this loss is usually crushing, and in the aftermath of loss, we often feel like we have no control over anything. Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s perfectly normal to detach yourself from your normal existence to grieve. Unfortunately, life has to go on, no matter how sad you feel.
Returning to work while grieving is quite tough. You need to figure out how to be productive and deal with your colleagues who may start to act differently around you because they don’t know how to comfort you. You may not be able to control how everyone else acts, but you can make your return to work while grieving a little easier. From dealing with awkward conversations to accomplishing tasks, here are a few tips to help you navigate your work life while grieving.
1. Have an honest conversation with your employer- Be frank with your employer, and let them know your struggles. Explain that you might not operate at an optimal level for a while. Tell them exactly what you need, so they can help you. Ask for mental health days, work from home opportunities or anything else that you need while you grieve.
2. Focus on doing- It might be tempting to shut down and do nothing, but trying to be productive and crossing tasks off your checklists can distract you and prevent you from being consumed by painful feelings.
3. Ask for help- People generally want to help those who are grieving but don’t know exactly how to go about it. Don’t be ashamed to ask your colleagues for help. Instead of insisting that everything is great, tell them what you need. They’d be happy to pick up your workload, so you can focus more on healing.
4. Create a sanctuary- Find a quiet place to retreat to when things get a little too much, and you just want to have a good cry. It could be your car, or a room where people don’t go into often.
5. Carry tissues- You might find yourself crying a lot when you least expect it. Keep tissues handy, so you can clean your tears or runny nose when you’re done.
Always remember that grief is an important step to healing, in the wake of a loved one’s death. When you get back to work, be honest about how you feel with yourself and others. Don’t try to rush the mourning process. The sooner you confront your grief, and live through it, the sooner you’d be able to live the rest of your life in a happier and productive manner. It really helps to see a grief counsellor or therapist if you feel like you need assistance coping with your emotions. Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness but an intelligent decision to help you move forward. I offer grief counselling services, and you can contact me to book a session.
For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating. Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss: Recognize You are Not Alone It’s easy to feel as though you are the […]
For many people, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones. But for those who have suffered a recent loss, the holidays can be painful and isolating.
Here are some ways you can cope with the holidays after a loss:
It’s easy to feel as though you are the only one experiencing great pain during the holiday season. Everywhere you turn, people seem to be happy, putting up decorations, buying gifts and making holiday plans. It’s important to recognize the truth right now, and that is that you are not alone. There are people all over the world who have experienced loss, some perhaps very recently.
No one expects you to feel joyful and in the holiday mood right now, so don’t feel as though you must pretend for others’ sake. It is very important that you honor whatever emotions you may be experiencing, whether it’s sadness, anger, regret or a combination.
The holidays are usually a busy time for people. There is much to accomplish and many events to host and/or attend. You do not have to keep your normal schedule this year. You simply will not have the mental or emotional stamina for it. So take the time you need. If you don’t feel like attending many (or any) events this year, that is fine. People will understand.
One of the worst parts about losing a loved one is the feeling that we no longer have any control over our lives. Loss makes us feel helpless. One way to fight this feeling is to help others who are in need. As a bonus, connecting with others who are hurting can often be a salve on our hearts as well.
If you have children, it’s important to understand that they are looking to you right now to know what life will be like from now on. To a child, the loss of a parent or sibling can frighten them terribly. Though you may not at all feel like celebrating the holidays, doing so helps your child know that life does go on and that there is space in your life to feel joy along with sadness.
If you have experienced loss and would like to explore grief counseling, please be in touch. You don’t have to suffer alone.