My WordPress Blog
There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety. […]
There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety.
While forgiving others who have hurt us isn’t always easy, in the end, it greatly benefits our mental health and overall well-being. To be clear, forgiving others does NOT mean you agree with or condor their poor behavior. And it doesn’t mean you are announcing that your feelings don’t matter. Forgiveness simply means letting go of the negative feelings that are holding you down and causing you prolonged distress.
Again, forgiving someone who has hurt you isn’t easy, but it will lead you to a sense of peace and joy. Here are some steps you can take to forgive others:
Process Your Pain
Have you really faced your pain and processed it? You’ll need to do this before you can let those feelings go. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings deeply and fully. Cry, yell, hit your pillow, do whatever it takes.
Forgive Yourself
It takes two to tango, as they say. While we can easily point to others and blame them for the breakup or ugly incident, the truth is, we were there also. We played some role. Even if it was to retaliate in the moment and to show our own ugliness. It’s time to forgive your own humanity and any wrongdoing to yourself or others.
Try to Understand
True forgiveness is impossible without a sense of understanding. You can try to forgive, claim you have forgiven, only to have those negative nagging feelings crop up again and again. When we try to understand why someone has acted the way they have, it can wipe out the negative feelings instantly, almost as if by magic.
A critical parent acts the way they act because they, too, were the victim of a critical parent. An overbearing boss is dealing with a personal tragedy at home. Our cheating spouse is self-sabotaging his or her life because they have incredibly low self-esteem and do not feel they deserve happiness. Life is complicated and human beings are even more so. Try and understand why someone has hurt you. You will be amazed at what this magical A-ha moment can do for you.
And if you’d like to speak to someone and get some guidance and much-needed perspective, please reach out to me.
SOURCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202006/the-healing-power-forgiveness
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-benefits-of-forgiveness-3144954
For many, childhood is the most wondrous and exciting time in a person’s life. But even when a child is growing in a loving and stable family environment, they can feel fear and anxiety. Think back on your childhood. Everything new was something to be not-so-sure of. It was easy to feel a bit anxious […]
For many, childhood is the most wondrous and exciting time in a person’s life. But even when a child is growing in a loving and stable family environment, they can feel fear and anxiety.
Think back on your childhood. Everything new was something to be not-so-sure of. It was easy to feel a bit anxious on the first day of school or meeting someone for the first time. A child often feels anxious at bedtime, having to go to the doctor or dentist, or on their first day of summer camp.
When children experience anxiety, they may run away, become very quiet, scream, shake, act silly, cling or have a tantrum to avoid the stressful situation. You may have tried to talk with your child and reason with them in these moments. But this generally doesn’t work.
Brain research suggests that it is extremely difficult for young children to think logically or control their behavior in these anxious moments. They are experiencing real fear and the fight/flight/freeze mode that accompanies it.
Here are 3 science-based ways parents can help their children manage their anxiety so they may regain a sense of safety.
The vagus nerve is located on both sides of the voice box. Studies have shown that stimulating it can interrupt the fight/flight/freeze mode and send a signal to your child’s brain that he or she is not under attack.
Some easy ways to help your child stimulate this nerve are:
Like adults, when children are anxious they tend to take rapid shallow breaths from the chest. Taking slower, deeper breaths from the abdomen sends a signal to their brain that they are safe and can relax.
Older children may be able to follow you as you show them slow breathing exercises. For younger children, there are some playful ways to get them to slow down and control their breathing. You can have them blow bubbles, blow into a pinwheel, imagine your fingers are birthday candles and have them slowly blow them out, teach them to whistle and simply see if they can hold their breath for three seconds as if they were swimming.
Research also suggests that humor can significantly reduce anxiety. Humor has a way of distracting, relaxing muscles and releasing endorphins that combat stress and anxiety.
Try silly knock-knock jokes or word games like “I went on a picnic.” A quick internet search will result in a ton of corny jokes that your youngster will most likely love, so print some out and have them on hand.
Anxiety is a part of life, but if you use these three techniques, you can help your child manage theirs. If you think your child could benefit from speaking to someone, please feel free to be in touch. I’d be more than happy to discuss treatment options.
For as long as there have been human beings on this planet, there have been people who took a walk when they were feeling a strong negative emotion. There is just something so beneficial about walking. It seems to calm us down and clear our head so we can think from a calm and logical […]
For as long as there have been human beings on this planet, there have been people who took a walk when they were feeling a strong negative emotion. There is just something so beneficial about walking. It seems to calm us down and clear our head so we can think from a calm and logical state instead of an emotional one.
So it makes complete sense that some people would be drawn to walk and talk therapy.
What is Walk and Talk Therapy Exactly?
Walk and talk therapy is a type of outdoor therapy and it is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of sitting in an office environment with your therapist, the two of you get out into the great outdoors and have your session during a lovely walk in nature.
Why Try It?
There are a variety of reasons to give this form of talk therapy a try. To start, it can be hard for some people to process their emotions while sitting still. Our bodies seemed to be designed to move while processing emotions.
Second, many people find the traditional talk therapy format awkward. Sitting in a tiny space with your therapist staring at you as you try and open up and bare your heart and soul is not an easy thing to do. But walking side by side while looking at beautiful nature helps make someone feel calm and open. There’s no doubt nature can be very healing, which makes it the perfect space for therapy.
What Can Walk and Talk Therapy Help With?
Walk and talk therapy can be very effective at treating numerous mental health issues such as:
Is Walk and Talk Therapy Right for Me?
If you enjoy being out in nature and are interested in a holistic approach to mental health, then walk and talk therapy may be a great fit for you. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety or are having a hard time processing your emotions and are interested in giving this form of therapy a try, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have.
SOURCES:
https://welldoing.org/article/what-is-walk-and-talk-therapy
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/walk-and-talk-therapy/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/walk-and-talk-therapy-new-york-ny/52552
Many people think of burnout as simply being incredibly tired after a long week or month of work or school studies. But burnout is much more than a physical exhaustion; it has in fact been called the “triad of depersonalization, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of detachment.” Here are some additional signs of burnout: Pessimism Pessimism […]
Many people think of burnout as simply being incredibly tired after a long week or month of work or school studies. But burnout is much more than a physical exhaustion; it has in fact been called the “triad of depersonalization, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of detachment.”
Here are some additional signs of burnout:
Pessimism
Pessimism is a major red flag that someone is experiencing burnout. And they won’t just feel pessimistic about whatever it is that is causing them big stress (job, school, relationship), they will feel pessimistic about life and the world at large.
Sleep Issues
Burnout makes it incredibly hard to get a good night’s rest. Either a person finds it hard to fall asleep, lying there wide awake for hours, or they fall asleep but then wake up throughout the night. When we don’t get enough quality sleep, it makes it difficult to cope with stress, which makes it hard to sleep, and the vicious cycle continues.
Sudden Physical Ailments
A major sign of burnout is suddenly experiencing physical symptoms that you never have before. For instance, many of my clients, with no prior history of GI upset or headaches, will begin to have chronic issues.
Burnout shouldn’t be taken lightly. You shouldn’t try to ‘tough it out’ and get on with things. Now is the time to make your mental health a priority. If you would like to speak with someone about what has been bothering you, please reach out to me.
Sources:
https://www.everydayhealth.com/burnout/unusual-signs-of-burnout/
https://positivepsychology.com/burnout/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout
At some point in their life, many people will face a mental health crisis. Perhaps it is the stress from a divorce, anxiety from a move, or grieving the loss of a loved one. There are numerous ways we can tackle mental health to make our entire well-being a priority. But one method that not […]
At some point in their life, many people will face a mental health crisis. Perhaps it is the stress from a divorce, anxiety from a move, or grieving the loss of a loved one. There are numerous ways we can tackle mental health to make our entire well-being a priority. But one method that not nearly enough people speak about is gratitude.
Gratitude, or a feeling of thankfulness, is a powerful alchemist. It can instantly and dramatically change your mood. When one is feeling grateful, it is hard for them to feel anything else. And while you can easily think about all of the things you are thankful for, it is a better idea to write them down in a journal.
Here are some of the mental health benefits of keeping a gratitude journal:
It Helps Us Feel Valued
When we recognize how many blessings we have been given, it is natural for the perception of our own value and worth to increase. This boost in value and self-esteem has been shown to decrease feelings of anxiety, depression and stress.
It Minimizes Negative Behaviors
As I mentioned, when we are focused on the positive, it is almost impossible for us to think about the negative aspects of our lives. This focus on positivity translates into better choices and behavior. We become kinder as well as more empathic and generous. These new ways of feeling and being continually perpetuate goodness coming into our life. And the new cycle continues.
It Helps Motivate Us
When we allow ourselves to feel grateful, we begin to feel more and more inspired. This newfound inspiration ignites our inner passion and motivates us to become our best selves.
I cannot recommend gratitude journals enough. I have seen them perform miracles in my clients’ lives. If you need some help getting started on your gratitude journey, get in touch with me. I would love to discuss more how gratitude journals, and counseling in general, may be able to help you with the mental health challenges you are facing.
SOURCES:
https://www.wellrx.com/news/how-a-gratitude-journal-can-support-your-mental-health/
https://www.sportskeeda.com/health-and-fitness/6-mental-health-benefits-keeping-gratitude-journal
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comfort-gratitude/202006/the-positive-impact-gratitude-mental-health
Psychotherapy can be a powerful vehicle for personal transformation. By speaking with a trained therapist in a safe and confidential environment, a person has the opportunity to explore their inner world and gain an understanding of their behaviors. Research has now shown that individual psychotherapy can be highly effective at improving the symptoms of a […]
Psychotherapy can be a powerful vehicle for personal transformation. By speaking with a trained therapist in a safe and confidential environment, a person has the opportunity to explore their inner world and gain an understanding of their behaviors.
Research has now shown that individual psychotherapy can be highly effective at improving the symptoms of a wide range of mental health issues such as depression, anxiety and OCD. It can also be beneficial for families, couples and groups.
More and more people are embracing the potential of psychotherapy in their life, but many are confused which is the right type for them. The following are some of the most common types of psychotherapy to give you a better idea of your options:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most used modalities in therapy. CBT is effective because it looks at the relationship between an individual’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It is a very empowering form of psychotherapy and works on a variety of issues such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders and schizophrenia.
Eye Movement Desensitization And Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR) has been used successfully for decades to treat PTSD. EMDR works by reducing the emotional distress that has been stored away in the brain from past traumas.
In each EMDR session, a trained therapist assists their client in performing a series of back and forth repetitive eye movements that essentially find the lingering traumatic emotions and disarm them.
Interpersonal Therapy
Interpersonal therapy focuses on improving the relationships an individual has with others. In these sessions the trained therapist helps their client evaluate their social interactions to recognize any negative patterns. Patterns can include social isolation and aggression. The goal is for the person to learn strategies for interacting positively with others.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of types of psychotherapy. But if you are interested in learning more about psychotherapy and would like to explore treatment options, I would be happy to speak with you. Please feel free to give my office a call.
SOURCES:
https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Treatments/Psychotherapy
https://psychcentral.com/lib/types-of-psychotherapy
https://positivepsychology.com/types-of-therapies/
Therapy is a wonderful way to explore your inner world, process your feelings, and inspire transformation. But what my clients often tell me is that a day or so after our session, they begin to feel a little lost and anxious again. It’s important to support the progress you’ve made with your therapist in between […]
Therapy is a wonderful way to explore your inner world, process your feelings, and inspire transformation. But what my clients often tell me is that a day or so after our session, they begin to feel a little lost and anxious again.
It’s important to support the progress you’ve made with your therapist in between your sessions. Here is what I advise my own clients to do in between our sessions:
Keep Your A-ha Moments in Mind
Therapy is a space for profound A-ha moments. It’s important to hold onto those in the days after your session. Think more deeply about what was uncovered and see if any other pieces of information come to the surface. It’s a great idea to have a dedicated notebook to jot down anything that may come to you. Bring this with you to your next session so you can share your additional insights with your therapist.
Read
Ask your therapist to recommend some helpful books, blogs, or articles that may offer deeper insights into your issue. While reading about your issue will not resolve it on its own, it’s a great way to supplement your therapy sessions.
Journal
I have been an advocate for journaling for quite some time, so I was thrilled when research in the Journal of the American Medical Association stated that journaling has both mental and physical benefits. Journaling not only helps to manage stress and reduce anxiety, but it also can alleviate the symptoms of depression.
If you did just these three things, you would find your time in between sessions would be more enjoyable and help to facilitate further positive change.
SOURCES:
https://www.foundationscounselingllc.com/blog/what-to-do-between-therapy-sessions.php
https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/mental-health-support-tools-to-use-between-therapy-sessions/
As a parent, you want to do everything you can to protect your child from harm and make sure they grow up healthy and happy. You make sure they wear a bike helmet and knee pads, but if they do take a tumble and break an arm, you immediately seek medical attention. Some “boo-boos” aren’t as noticeable […]
As a parent, you want to do everything you can to protect your child from harm and make sure they grow up healthy and happy. You make sure they wear a bike helmet and knee pads, but if they do take a tumble and break an arm, you immediately seek medical attention.
Some “boo-boos” aren’t as noticeable as a broken bone, but these emotional wounds hurt just as bad. If left untreated, these emotional injuries can result in further problems as your child grows. This is where therapy comes in.
“But isn’t my child too young for therapy?” you might be wondering. In my practice, I have seen children as young as three years of age. Trauma and behavioral issues don’t have an age restriction, they can affect a child at any age.
Signs Your Child May Need Therapy
Instead of focusing on the age of the child, it’s better to address the particular problems he or she may be having. As the parent, you know your child best. While a friend or family doctor may tell you your child is just “going through a stage,” you may recognize that something seems… off or not-right. Trust your instincts.
With this in mind, here are some signs that may indicate a problem that may require specialized attention. Your child:
This is by no means an exhaustive list but gives an indication of the kinds of behavior that may need addressing.
It is also important to mention that other things can be ruled out before you decide to give therapy a try. For instance, has your child had a full medical work-up recently? Her difficulties at school could be caused by an emotional disturbance, OR they could be caused by poor eyesight. His insomnia could be caused by anxiety, OR it could be the result of a biological issue that is causing him pain. Are you and your partner arguing more? Is your child’s behavior a natural response to an emotional situation at home?
Talk to Your Child About Therapy
While you may be worried your child is too young for therapy, your child may quite like the idea of talking to ‘someone special’ about how they feel. And, at the end of the day, your child is taking cues from you on how to feel about things. If you feel therapy has a certain stigma, your child will feel shame and not want to explore this option. But if you see therapy as beneficial, chances are your child will as well and be open to trying it.
Once you decide to explore treatment options, look for a therapist who specializes in helping very young children. They will most likely put an emphasis on art and play therapy, allowing your child to express themselves in a way that is natural for them.
Be sure to ask as many questions as necessary to select a therapist you feel comfortable with, and speak openly with your child about treatment so they can know what to expect.
If you believe your child may benefit from therapy and would like to speak about treatment options, please get in touch. I would be more than happy to see how I may help.
If you find yourself struggling to fall or stay asleep, you’re not alone. Insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep, is a common problem affecting millions of Americans. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis. With […]
If you find yourself struggling to fall or stay asleep, you’re not alone. Insomnia, the chronic inability to get sufficient sleep, is a common problem affecting millions of Americans. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2014 study, more than a third of Americans aren’t getting enough sleep on a daily basis.
With a lack of sleep at the root of serious medical conditions like obesity, high blood pressure and heart disease, getting a decent amount of sleep on a regular basis is crucial to a long and healthy life. Here are five things you can do to change your routine and start getting to, and staying, asleep.
1. Just Two Things in Bed
Make sure that your bed is used only for two things: sex and sleep. By using your bed almost exclusively for sleep, your body will associate your bed with rest and relaxation, making it easier to fall asleep.
2. Exercise Regularly
Getting regular exercise (the recommended thirty minutes a day, five days a week) will help you promote healthy sleep habits. Your post-exercise temperature may promote falling asleep, and exercise in general will help eliminate insomnia by decreasing arousal and anxiety.
3. Naps, Caffeine, & Alcohol
Short naps are helpful for some, but for others it impacts their ability to fall asleep. If you’re struggling with insomnia, avoid naps during the day. Caffeine, a known stimulant, may keep you up longer than you’re aware. You may need to avoid caffeine entirely if it prevents you from falling asleep. And, while alcohol is a sedative, it can disrupt your sleep; so if you have trouble staying asleep, avoid alcohol.
4. No Screens Before Bedtime
Screen time, such as computers, smart phones and television, prevent you from falling asleep due to cognitive stimulation. Too much light at bedtime affects your melatonin production, giving your body the impression that its staying awake, not ready for sleep. Help your body get ready for sleep by eliminating screen time at least two hours before bed.
5. Create a Nighttime Routine
Creating a regular nighttime routine will help your body get into the habit of winding down and relaxing as it prepares for sleep. Create a nighttime routine an hour or two before bed. Maybe have a glass of warm milk, brush your teeth, change into your pajamas and read a book every night before bed. Make sure you go to bed around the same time every night too, including weekends.
Changing old habits and establishing a new routine is never easy. But as you make changes and sustain new practices, it will get easier. Before long you’ll have a new set of healthy habits, and you can finally settle in for a good night’s sleep.
Are you struggling with insomnia and need help maintaining healthy sleep habits? A licensed professional can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.
Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now find ourselves facing sky high inflation, a recession, and the threat […]
Life has been beyond challenging for most of us the last couple of years as we’ve dealt with a global pandemic and subsequent lockdowns. And just when we thought we were all out of the woods and life was back to normal, we now find ourselves facing sky high inflation, a recession, and the threat of WW III. Needless to say, these events can trigger some pretty strong emotions in us.
We never want to fully deny our emotions. Feeling them is how we process the events of our lives. But there comes the point where we need to figure out a way to move through the emotions and get safely to the other side. One of the most effective ways to do this is through mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a simple, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It is a powerful way to connect with our bodies and emotions, but in a higher state of awareness.
Mindfulness helps us regulate our emotions by putting us in a calm and relaxed state of presence. From here we can have a more mature and sensible point of view of the events in our lives.
Second, when practiced regularly, mindfulness can help us develop skills that promote emotional maturity and self-regulation. These skills include self-awareness and attentional control.
And finally, mindfulness can increase the time between trigger and response. In this way, mindfulness acts a bit like an advanced warning system, alerting us to a potential ugly scene, giving us time to engage in emotional self-monitoring. This gives us the opportunity to choose our emotional response very, very carefully.
There are many online resources for getting started with a mindfulness meditation practice. Spend some time searching Google and exploring Youtube for some helpful sites and videos.
If you are interested in working privately with someone on regulating your emotions, please reach out to me. I use mindfulness in my practice with clients and would be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Sources:
https://mentalhealthmatch.com/articles/skills/what-is-mindfulness-and-how-to-use-it-to-regulate-emotions